“The Muffin Tops”
First Script Read: Wednesday, March 19, 1997
Filmed: Tuesday, March 25, 1997
Aired: May 8, 1997
Nielsen rating: 20.9
Audience share: 32
Directed: Andy Ackerman
Writer: Spike Feresten
Believe it or not, Jerry has a new girlfriend! At first sight, George is impressed:
GEORGE: Where are you meeting these women? When they get off the bus at the port authority?
JERRY [POINTING TO HIS HEART]: Right here, George. In here. Try opening this up. You'll find the biggest dating scene in the world.
GEORGE: Thanks. Thanks a lot.
George doesn't open up his heart. Nor does he head to the port authority. But a series of events lead him to meet a woman who thinks George is the one from out of town. First, George agrees to watch a guy's luggage on the street, then takes the suitcase home with him when the guy doesn't return. George starts wearing the clothes, which make him look like a tourist. A beautiful woman who works with a tourist organization, Mary Anne, meets him and, as George plays the part of the tourist, takes him around New York.
JERRY: So you're pretending to be a tourist?
GEORGE: It's beautiful. She makes all the plans. I'm not from around here so it's okay if I'm stupid, and she knows I'm only in town visiting so there's no messy breakup.
JERRY: How do you explain your apartment?
GEORGE: I got a hotel room.
JERRY: You moved into a hotel?
GEORGE: Well I don't know anyone here Jerry. Where else am I going to stay?
Eventually, George tries to pursue a serious relationship but Mary Anne isn't interested in dating someone from out of town. When he suggests that he's thinking about moving to New York, she warns him that the city will eat him alive. Nevertheless, George decides to pretend to move to New York:
JERRY: You're moving to New York? That's fantastic. I can see you all the time now.
GEORGE: Eat me alive, huh? We'll see who can make it in this town.
JERRY: What is it she think you can't do?
GEORGE: Find a job. Get an apartment.
JERRY: How did you do those things?
GEORGE: Never mind. They're done. All I have to do now is redo them. You know if you take everything I've ever done in my entire life and condense it down into one day, it looks decent!
Of course, it backfires spectacularly. It's bad enough that Mary Anne tells him the apartment he has been living in but claims he just found is over-priced and smells bad. Then, when he brings her to his office at Yankee Stadium, she mentions the job he was pretending to have at Tyler Chicken to George Steinbrenner. Impressed with George's work ethic, Steinbrenner calls Tyler to get them to release George to the Yankees. But Tyler plays hardball and ultimately Steinbrenner trades George to the company he never had a job with in the first place. So ends the longest, best job George ever had. He started with the Yankees at the end of season five and kept the job three years to the end of season eight.